Interview
Stuck In A Lift
All Geoff Norcott wanted to be was the kit man for Wimbledon FC
We get stuck in a lift with the controversial stand-up comedian who talks about his love for trance music – and processed cheese
In what is a left-leaning comedy circuit in the UK, Geoff Norcott stands out. His right-of-centre politics give him something of a unique, if contentious edge on the comedic scene, found in his ongoing tour entitled Basic Bloke 2 – There’s No Bloke Without Fire.
But for the South London born comedian, it’s not so much that his show has a specific stance, but more an inclination to take a pop at everybody, and everything.
“I’m still what I would call socially liberal,” he said. “For most people, if they met me, they’d see me somewhere near the middle. My job as a comedian is not to pick sides, but to go right, who’s saying the most hysterical nonsense today?”
The tour, which continues to run through until May, is aptly described by the football fanatic as being a show of two halves.
“In the first half I do topical political stuff, and then the second half is on the overriding themes, which is standing up for the average bloke. A lot of the not-nice blokes get the most attention; the blokes who start wars and crash economies. But most blokes are starting DIY projects that they don’t finish or crashing a Ford Fiesta. I talk about friendship, and how blokes never know the details of each other’s lives.”
For Norcott, the beauty lies in the human interaction; believing that jokes are better judged when live and in-person.
“Through this job I know this country a lot better, and it makes me more patriotic because everywhere you go, you walk out and there’s a roomful of people who just want to have a laugh,” he said. “It’s so different to the online world, in the real world, people understand that a joke is a joke. It’s not an absolute expression of every single belief you’ve ever held. Sometimes social media is like being in a relationship with a partner who always gets out of the wrong side of bed.”
He also believes those who are not necessarily aligned with him politically would be surprised at what they experience if buying a ticket to one of his shows.
“In the comedy world, there are people a lot further to the right than me, so I think some people on the left have realised that I’m not quite as radical as they thought. I do get some lefties that say they’re worried about the tour show, because they don’t know what the clientele is going to be like, they think it’s going to be like Millwall away, just beer swigging blokes in string vests looking like Rab C. Nesbitt. But if you took a snapshot of my crowd and placed it against Mark Steele’s crowd, for example, it won’t look wildly different.”
Who would you most want to be stuck in a lift with?
Bono.
Who would you least want to be stuck in a lift with?
Bono. Because I’m such a fan that how I would act around him would be awful for both of us. He’d probably end it all after I asked him, for the 17th time, about the chord progressions on ‘Where the Streets Have No Name’.
Have you ever met one of your heroes?
I’ve worked with Freddy Flintoff quite a lot. I’ve had a man crush on Freddy for a long time, and he’s great, very good at remembering the little people. He’s not one of those famous people that only has eyes for other famous people in the room. He’s a genuinely good human being.
What’s the weirdest interaction you’ve ever had with a famous person?
I was doing a gig in New Malden years ago. I was the closing act, and the promoter said to me, you probably want to come to this one, there’s a very special guest. And I said, well, AFC Wimbledon are playing Wycombe in the FA Cup first round, so I’m going to go to that and then come along later… And he said, no, you should come. As I was arriving at the venue, I heard this massive cheer, bigger than anything I’ve ever heard. And out of the door came Robin Williams. He was he was doing a show in the UK and he was just getting warmed up. I went up to him and I said, I’m following you. Now, he didn’t have the context, he probably thought I meant I had followed him to the gig, so his security looked fairly alert.
What’s the last gig or live show that you went to?
I like dance music. I’m one of these middle-aged men; I’m like a John Lewis rave dad. Between Christmas and New Year, I went to a trance revival night in Coalville. I just love it, so why would I stop listening to the music I like? My mates give me stick about it, but they’re still going to see Oasis and Elbow, so I’m still going to see Paul van Dyk. We know how to have fun, and we’re also quite immature. We’re never letting it go.
What’s on your rider?
Diet Coke, a full fat Coke, two bottles of water and access to tea making facilities. Now, you would think, being so modest, that that would be easy, but I have to say it like four or five times on arrival, even though it’s been emailed.
What happens if they give you a Coke Zero?
The problem is, Coke Zero tastes so much like Coke, it freaks me out. With Diet Coke, you go, that tastes a bit wrong, and that feels about right. That should be their slogan. ‘Tastes a bit wrong, which feels about right.’
Is there a system in place?
Yeah, the Diet Coke is for pre-show, and then the full fat Coke is an insurance policy in case I’m running low on energy in the second half.
What’s your guiltiest pleasure?
Diet Coke. I started drinking it in lockdown. I just thought because it was such a miserable time, every day at lunchtime, I’m gonna have a Diet Coke. I think now I’m going to do it till I die.
What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
Meals on wheels for old people. I had a skinhead at the time. So I’d be ringing the doorbell, and all these old dears would peek through and just see this 19-year-old male with a skinhead. And just think, Jesus Christ, is it kicking off?
Do you have a skill that nobody knows you’re good at?
I’m a bedroom DJ. I’m currently working on a new trance mix. It’s like golf for me. It’s one of those things that I’m trying to get better at for no particular reason.
What’s the worst advice you’ve ever been given?
When I was starting to talk about my politics, quite a few blokes on the circuit that are a bit older than me sat me down and said, “this is not how we do things”. It was well meant, but they were implying that if I talk about how I voted, it’s not going to play out well. I’m making it sound like a mafia thing. Like, “you got a nice career, be ashamed if something happened to it…”. But I just thought it was interesting. You know, everyone on the circuit’s left-wing, so I wanted to experiment with doing something challenging. I see myself now as a political comedian. My job is to take whatever’s there, digest it, and then make jokes about it. I think, eventually, if you’re a proper grown-up in this country, you realise you’re being let down by everyone, so the idea that you have a side for life should be something people grow out of.
When you’re compiling material, do you open a newspaper or watch the news and make notes as you go?
It’s more podcasts, I listen to a lot of news-based podcasts. The main thing is being up to date with what’s going on, you’ve got to have a base level of knowledge. I do a Times radio show every Friday night, so it’s part of my job to know what’s going on. I never thought I’d know who certain Labour backbenchers were, but that’s part of my work, and I enjoy it. For me, politics is somewhere between sport and entertainment. When I watch PMQs, it’s with the same mindset as when I listen to Test Match Special.
When people gave you the advice to stay clear of your politics, did you have to really reconcile with that before going ahead with it?
I was nervous, yeah, for a long time. I was swimming against the tide on certain things. I think partly why I enjoyed it was because the nerves reminded me of what it used to be like. Nerves are good in comedy, and while you don’t want too many, and you don’t want it to be stifling, I needed them to get better as a comic.
If you had to have a song playing every time you walked into a room, what would it be?
‘The Man’ by The Killers. It’s just so cool. I don’t know how rock bands capture that 70s Shaft-style spirit funk. I used to have it as my walk on track for my show in 2018. It’s quite inspirational, it’s just about getting your mojo back, getting your peacock walk on. Maybe it should’ve been the title for this show. But I suppose I’m talking about blokes rather than men. Men are the overall species; blokes are a sub-genre.
What film have you rewatched the most?
That’s changed throughout time, but I watch The Truman Show every so often. I love that film. I showed it to my son and it was just great to watch it open little corners of his mind because it has become relevant again, in different ways.
Do you quite enjoy sharing your favourite films with your son?
Yeah, indoctrinate them early. Whatever you like, indoctrinate them. Because if they’re associated with a positive childhood, you’re well set. Take Star Wars, I’ve heavily indoctrinated him into that, we watch a lot of Star Wars stuff together.
Do you have any superstitions?
No, but if I’ve got a big gig, I always think about what it would feel like to fail miserably, which sounds negative. But like Mike Tyson said, “everyone’s got a plan ‘till you get punched in the face”. So what you need for stand-up is a lot of punch-in-the-face plans.
What’s your most controversial food opinion?
I prefer processed cheese in cheese and tomato sandwiches. I think it’s better.
The very yellow kind you get on McDonald’s burgers?
Yeah, the worse the better. The tomatoes have got to be good though. And it’s got to be appropriately seasoned. I don’t know if it reminds me of my childhood or something, but I always wind-up foodies with that opinion.
What did your 12-year-old self think that you’d be doing now?
The only thing I was interested in at that point was football. I thought I’d have been part of the Crazy Gang-era Wimbledon football team. I’d have been too scared to play alongside Vinnie Jones, so maybe I’d have been a kit man for Wimbledon. Yeah, that would have been my dream job at that time.
Geoff Norcott is on tour now, playing UK dates until May 2026. Find tickets here
