Theatre
By Numbers
The Producers By Numbers: Every song in the stage musical
Here’s your breakdown of every song on the soundtrack of The Producers
Whether or not you’re heading to the Garrick Theatre to see The Producers in London, the soundtrack is a hugely entertaining listen. The irreverent comedy based on the 1967 Mel Brooks film explores the creation of the worst musical in history – ironic, for a show that won 12 Tony Awards on its original run. If you’re looking to get into The Producers for the first time – or if you want to recapture the magic of your visit to the Garrick Theatre – we’ve got you covered. Here’s your breakdown of every song on the soundtrack of The Producers.
‘Opening Night’
It’s 1959 in New York, and producer Max Bialystock’s Funny Boy has just opened, a musical version of Hamlet. Critics and audiences alike are blown away – by just how bad the show is. The show closes after just one performance.
Key lyric: “How’d he achieve it?/It’s the worst show in town”
‘The King Of Broadway’
Max laments to a crowd of New Yorkers down on their luck about his fall from grace. He used to rule over Broadway, but he’s since had a run of failures. He vows to return to his glory days.
Key lyrics: “Bialystock will be on top again”
‘We Can Do It’
Rather than searching for the next big thing, however, Max’s ambitions turn in a different direction the very next day. With the help of accountant Leo Bloom, Max works out a way in which a producer could actually profit more from a flop than a hit. He attempts to enlists Leo’s help to pull off the scheme. The two now need to find the worst play ever written, hire the worst actors and director, raise $2 million in investments from old ladies and close the show after opening night, then escape to Rio with the money. Max pulls out every persuasive trick in the book in this number to convince Leo to overcome his cowardice and help pull the thing off.
Key lyric: “We can do it/And I know it’s gonna work!”
‘I Wanna Be A Producer’
Despite Max’s hard sell, Leo turns him down and returns to his job at an accounting firm. Surrounded by coworkers just as miserable as himself, Leo returns to his dream of being a Broadway producer. He realises that he does want to take Max up on his offer after all.
Key lyric: “I’m gonna be a producer/Look out Broadway, here I come!”
‘In Old Bavaria’
In searching for the worst play around, Max and Leo stumble upon Springtime for Hitler: A Gay Romp with Adolf and Eva at Berchtesgaden written by ex-Nazi Franz Liebkind. They go to the playwright’s house to meet with him and secure the rights to the play. This brief number sees Liebkind fantasising about his old life.
Key lyric: “Oh, how I miss ze hills und dales und vales und trails of old Bavaria”
‘Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop’
In order to secure the rights to the play, Max and Leo must join Liebkind in singing and dancing what Liebkind claims was Hitler’s favourite song. They also have to take the Siegfried Oath, swearing not to dishonour the memory of Hitler – which they do, knowing that it’s their best shot at producing something audiences hate.
Key lyric: “Ve’re winkin und blinkin/Und clinken und drinken/Our Schnapps ’til we plotz”
‘Keep It Gay’
Failing director Roger De Bris is enlisted to direct, but initially refuses because he finds the subject matter too serious. He eventually decides that he will accept the offer, on the condition that the play is rewritten to be lighter and ‘gayer’ – and that the second act is changed so that Germany win World War II.
Key lyric: “No matter what you do on the stage/Keep it light, keep it bright, keep it gay”
‘When You’ve Got It, Flaunt It’
Max and Leo meet Ulla, a beautiful Swedish woman who wants to audition for their next play. She is clear on what she believes to be the key to success in the theatre – sex appeal. Charmed, they hire her as an assistant.
Key lyric: “When I was just a little girl in Sveden/My thoughtful mother gave me this advice/If nature blesses you from top to bottom/Show that top to bottom, don’t think twice”
‘Along Came Bialy’
Max sets out to raise the $2 million needed by seducing rich older women all over New York. He raises the funds, only after a lot of… exertion. As Act One comes to a close, Max and Leo are now ready to put on what they’re hoping will be the biggest flop in Broadway history.
Key lyric: “It’s time for Max/To put his backers on their backs/And thrill them with amazing acts/Those aging nymphomaniacs”
‘That Face’
Act Two begins with Leo and Ulla left alone in Max’s office. Leo has always avoided romantic connection for fear of being pulled off course – but he’s beginning for fall for Ulla all the same, and it seems that Ulla might return his feelings.
Key lyric: “I was firmly headed in the right direction/When suddenly I stumbled on that face”
‘Haben Sie Gehört Das Deutsche Band?’
Liebkind wants to audition to play Hitler himself, and presents a jazzy rendition of ‘Haben Sie Gehört Das Deutsche Band?’ At the end of his performance, Max grants him the role.
Key lyric: “Russian folksongs und French oo-la-la/Can’t compare with a German “Oom-pah-pah!””
‘Opening Night (Reprise)’
Opening night is here, and audiences speculate about the fate of Max’s latest show – will it be another flop? Little do they know that Max himself isn’t rooting for the outcome they’d expect…
Key lyric: “We’re so excited/We can’t sit down/’Cause Springtime for Hitler has come to town!”
‘You Never Say Good Luck On Opening Night’
Leo curses the production by wishing everyone good luck, and the cast and director are appalled by him and Max’s casual attitude to the words. Leo has cursed the show, but not in the way he and Max are hoping for. Liebkind is actually going break his leg, forcing Roger to go on in his place, and Roger’s flamboyant portrayal of Hitler is about to convince the audience that Springtime For Hitler is a clever satire.
Key lyric: “It’s bad luck to say “good luck” on opening night?/If you do, I tell you/It is certain by the curtain you are through!”
‘Springtime For Hitler’
The musical’s incredibly offensive first number begins, and Max and Leo can see that the audience are confused about what they’re watching. A tap number doesn’t help matters.
Key lyric: “Springtime for Hitler and Germany/Deutschland is happy and gay!”
‘Where Did We Go Right?’
With reviews lauding the play as a ‘satiric masterpiece’, Max and Leo are at a loss to figure out how ‘Springtime For Hitler’ can possibly have been a success.
Key lyric: “The show was lousy and long/We did everything wrong/Where did we go right?”
‘Betrayed’
The fraud is discovered, and Max is arrested. In jail awaiting trial, he receives a postcard from Leo, who has eloped to Rio with Ulla. Despairing, he laments ever trusting Leo. His life begins to flash before his eyes.
Key lyric: “I’m crying in the hoosegow/You’re in Rio getting laid!”
‘‘Til Him’
Just before Max is pronounced ‘incredibly guilty’, Leo and Ulla return, and Leo hands over the stolen money. He sings a touching out to his friendship with Max. The judge is touched by Leo and Max’s bond, and decides that to separate them would be wrong – so he sentences them both to five years in jail.
Key lyric: “He filled up my empty life/Filled it to the brim/There could never ever be another one/Like him”
‘Prisoners Of Love’
In prison, Max and Leo write a new musical together, called Prisoners of Love, rehearsing it with their fellow inmates. As a result, they are pardoned for their crimes, as a reward for bringing joy into the lives of the other prisoners. Prisoners of Love goes to Broadway, starring Ulla and Roger, and is a big hit. Max is finally back on top.
Key lyric: “The cast is great, the script is swell/But this we’re tellin’ you, sirs/It’s just no go, you got no show/Without the producers!”
‘Goodbye!’
The cast wave a brief goodbye to the audience – and tell them that it’s time to get out.
Key lyric: “If you like our show, tell ev’ryone but/If you think it stinks, keep your big mouth shut!”
The Producers is currently playing at the Garrick Theatre – find tickets here
