Theatre
By Numbers
Heathers The Musical By Numbers: Every song in the stage musical
Here’s your breakdown of every song on the Heathers The Musical soundtrack
It’s a summer of high school politics and teen murder over at the Arts at Marble Arch as Heathers The Musical returns to town. The smash-hit show, based on the 1989 cult film starring Winona Ryder and Christian Slater, is a London favourite, returning multiple times since its London premiere in 2018, and its latest run will make it the first show to play Arts at Marble Arch, the new temporary home of the Arts Theatre.
This is pop-rock musical theatre at its best, and whether you’ve secured your tickets yet or not, the Heathers soundtrack is well worth a listen. Differing a little from the off-Broadway version, the West End score is packed with dark humour, with some surprisingly moving moments. Here’s your guide to every song on the Heathers The Musical soundtrack.
‘Beautiful’
In 1989, high-schooler and wallflower Veronica Sawyer introduces us to the key players at Westerberg High School – like jocks Ram Sweeney and Kurt Kelly and Veronica’s friend Martha Dunnstock – and addresses the school’s strict social hierarchy. For most students, Westerberg is not a happy place – but the three Heathers float above it all. The most popular girls in school, they seem untouchable, and Veronica wants a little of what they have.
When the three Heathers are caught out of class, Veronica forges a note to get them out of trouble, and in return ‘mythic bitch’ Heather Chandler agrees to let Veronica sit at their table. Veronica reveals herself, completely made over as one of the Heathers, to the student body, and revels in her new image.
Key lyric: “We can be beautiful… Just not today”
‘Candy Store’
When Heather Chandler asks Veronica to forge a love letter from Ram to Martha and Veronica hesitates, Heather threatens to reinstate Veronica’s loser status. The other two Heathers back her up as they present Veronica’s two options: keep on flying high with them or sink back to Martha’s social status. Convinced, Veronica obeys their instructions.
Key lyric: “It’s time for you prove you’re not a loser anymore”
‘Fight For Me’
When new kid J.D. Dean turns up and gets into a fight into with Ram and Kurt, Veronica finds herself attracted to him against her better judgement. As the fight continues in slow-motion, she speculates about whether their relationship would work.
Key lyric: “Hey, Mr No-Name Kid, if some night you’re free/Wanna fight for me?”
‘Freeze Your Brain’
When Veronica and J.D. meet again at a 7-Eleven, J.D. opens up about his difficult childhood, including the death of his mum, and how he intentionally gives himself slushie-induced brain freezes to cope.
Key lyric: “Happiness comes when everything numbs”
‘Big Fun’
Veronica goes to Ram’s homecoming party and gets drunk as her classmates celebrate around her, finally feeling that she’s succeeding socially. This ensemble number parodies a stereotypical 80s American house party, solo cups galore. The night ends in something of a disaster, when Veronica pukes on Heather Chandler, and Heather vows to ruin her reputation.
Key lyric: “The house is ours/It’s time for big fun!”
‘Dead Girl Walking’
Figuring she has nothing left to lose as far as her reputation goes, Veronica breaks into J.D.’s bedroom to seduce him, and the two have sex.
Key lyric: “Cause Heather says I gots to go/You’re my last meal on death row/Shut your mouth and lose them tighty-whities!”
‘The Me Inside Of Me’
In the morning, J.D. accompanies Veronica to Heather Chandler’s house, as Veronica attempts to make amends. As a result of a mug mix-up and a little murderous intent from J.D., Heather Chandler winds up drinking drain cleaner and dying. J.D. convinces a panicked Veronica to forge a suicide note, painting her as a misunderstood victim of her own loneliness.
When the news gets out, the student body and faculty begin to see Heather Chandler in a new light. In death, she becomes even more revered than in life, and the now-dead Heather Chandler – still stalking the stage – is thrilled by the adoration.
Key lyric: “Heather died so we could all be free!/Heather’s gone but she will live forever!”
‘You’re Welcome’
Heather McNamara convinces Veronica to meet her at a cow pasture, where she and Heather Duke are stuck with a drunk Ram and Kurt. She reveals the boys would only leave them alone if they brought Veronica, and the two Heathers escape, leaving Veronica with the two boys, who try to rape her. Veronica manages to evade and embarrass them and escapes.
Key lyric: “You were nothing and nobody, but now you’re good enough to get with me”
‘Never Shut Up Again’
Heather Duke claims Heather Chandler’s iconic red scrunchie, naming herself the new head bitch of the school and reigning like a tyrant over the students. Kurt and Ram tell everyone they had sex with Veronica, labelling her a slut, and J.D. is beaten up when he attempts to defend her.
Key lyric: “Move bitch, this my song!/I will never shut up again”
‘Our Love Is God’
Veronica and J.D. plan a prank in retaliation: they’ll lure Kurt and Ram back to the cow pasture and shoot them with tranquilliser bullets. Veronica will forge a suicide note claiming they were secretly gay lovers, humiliating them.
When J.D. arrives, however, things go slightly differently. Veronica realises the bullets are real, and J.D. has just murdered Kurt and Ram in front of her. J.D. proclaims his undying love to Veronica, and Veronica, terrified, echoes his words as the curtain falls on Act One.
Key lyric: “I worship you/I’d trade my life for yours/They all will disappear/We’ll plant our garden here”
‘My Dead Gay Son’
The town believes the suicide note, and at Kurt and Ram’s joint funeral, Ram’s Dad calls out Kurt’s Dad’s homophobia. He reminds Kurt’s Dad of the love affair that once existed between them, and the two kiss as the attendees celebrate.
Key lyric: “My boy’s a homosexual, and that don’t scare me none/I want the world to know I love my dead gay son!”
‘Seventeen’
Scared of J.D. but even more scared of losing him, Veronica asks him to set aside his anger and love of violence and just be a normal teenager with her. He promises to try.
Key lyric: “Don’t you want a life with me?/Can’t we be seventeen?”
‘Shine A Light’
Overly eager teacher Ms Fleming holds a televised assembly where she helps the students engage in group therapy. She urges them to reveal their secret pain, and Heather McNamara comes forward.
Key lyric: “But if we show the ugly parts that we hide away/They turn out to be beautiful by the light of day!”
‘Lifeboat’
Heather McNamara admits to experiencing suicidal thoughts since the deaths of Kurt and Heather Chandler in this brief but moving solo.
Key lyric: “If I say the wrong thing/Or I wear the wrong outfit/They’ll throw me right over the side”
‘Shine A Light (Reprise)’
Heather Duke mocks Heather McNamara for her confession, convincing the other students to join in. Heather McNamara runs off in tears and tries to kill herself in the bathroom, with Duke’s words still in her head, but Veronica stops her.
Key lyric: “Why not kill yourself? You don’t deserve to live”
‘I Say No’
J.D. tries to convince Veronica to murder Heather Duke, but Veronica, realising that he’ll never change, breaks up with him, asserting her ability to make her own decisions.
Key lyric: “You need help I can’t provide/I am not qualified”
‘Kindergarten Boyfriend’
Martha, who was in love with Ram and has since learned that Veronica forged his letter to her, reminisces on their kindergarten romance before trying to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge.
Key lyric: “Certain boys are meant for kindergarten/Certain girls are meant to be alone”
‘Yo Girl’
After hearing of Martha’s suicide attempt, Veronica returns home to find that J.D. has told her parents she’s suicidal. Taunted by the ghosts of Ram, Kurt and Heather Chandler, she runs up to her room, where J.D. climbs in through the window.
Key lyric: “Veronica’s running on, running on fumes now”
‘Meant To Be Yours’
Veronica barricades herself in the closet as J.D. explains his plan – he’s faked a mass suicide note from the whole school and plans to blow the building up during the pep rally. He breaks into the closet to find Veronica dangling from a noose. Distraught, he flees, unaware that Veronica has faked her death.
Key lyric: “I was meant to be yours/We were meant to be one/Don’t give up on me now/Finish what we begun”
‘Dead Girl Walking (Reprise)’
Veronica races to the school to stop J.D. and confronts him in the boiler room whilst the pep rally goes on above them. They wrestle for his weapon and in the struggle, J.D. is shot.
Key lyric: “I wanted someone strong who could protect me/I let his anger fester and infect me”
‘I Am Damaged’
Veronica takes the bomb to an empty football field, unable to figure out how to disarm it, but J.D. appears, convincing her to let him take it instead. He ends up being the only casualty.
Key lyric: “I am damaged/But you’re different/You’re the one we oughta spare”
‘Seventeen (Reprise)’
Veronic takes away Heather Duke’s red scrunchie, declaring the era of the Heathers to be over. She invites Heather McNamara and Martha over to her house to watch a film, hang out and just be normal teenagers.
Key lyric: “We can be seventeen/Help us to make things right/We want a better world/So why not start tonight?”
Heathers The Musical is playing at the Arts at Marble Arch until 22 August – find your tickets here
