We invented our own Golden Globes music categories

We've given the award show a bit of a revamp and chosen our own winners from the last 12 months

Given that the categories often include the word “original”, awards shows are remarkably unoriginal when it comes to music. Best original song. Best original score. Show some ingenuity! Last night’s ceremony saw Justin Hurwitz win the latter for Babylon and M. M. Keeravani win the latter for his song from the bonkers RRR. But we’ve gone a step further and invented our own Golden Globes* categories for our favourite songs and musical highlights from the big and small screens.

*not actual Golden Globes, calm down Hollywood Foreign Press, whatever you are

Best Original Earworm From A Movie

‘Naughty’ – Matilda The Musical

When? When does it stop? It’s been a month since the film came out and my first waking thought is still: “Like Romeo and Juliet, written in the stars before they even met…”. When they come to take me away, I’ll be rocking in the corner repeating “Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty” over and over again.

Naughty | Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical (Soundtrack from the Netflix Film)

Best Original Song Probably Not Worth Losing A Finger Over

‘The Banshees Of Inisherin’ – The Banshees Of Inisherin

Brendan Gleeson composed and played the titular song from Martin McDonagh’s film himself. He also cut off his own fingers for the film too. One of those two facts isn’t true.

Best Original Theme Turned Inadvertent Floorfiller

‘Renaissance’ – The White Lotus: Season 2

Not since Game Of Thrones has a theme song entered the public consciousness so effectively. It’s as unsettling and weird as it is fun to try and replicate. Certified: banger.

The White Lotus Season 2 | Renaissance (Main Title Theme) - Cristobal Tapia De Veer | WaterTower

Best Use Of A Full Song From Revered Dad Rockers In A TV Show

‘Spiders/Kidsmoke’ by Wilco – The Bear

The tension! Wilco’s relentless opus sounds like the clock ticking inside Carmy’s head in the best scene from the best episode of the best show of last year.

Spiders (Kidsmoke)

Best Karaoke Performance Of An R.E.M. Song In A Movie

‘Losing My Religion’ by Frankie Corio – Aftersun

Bonus points for not being ‘Shiny Happy People’.

R.E.M. - Losing My Religion (Official HD Music Video)

Best Recycling Of A Classic Rock Song That You Didn’t Think Would Give You Goosebumps But Did

‘Danger Zone’ by Kenny Loggins – Top Gun: Maverick

In all honesty, it’s a silly, silly song but if you grew up in the 80s, chances are you got a little shiver when Kenny’s air-punching, fist-pumping, chest-bumping anthem kicked in.

Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone (Official Video - Top Gun)

Best Song To Save You From An Interdimensional Monster  

‘Running Up That Hill’ by Kate Bush – Stranger Things

I would have opted for ‘Monster’ by The Automatic to save me from Vecna. It’s good to be clear about the situation at hand.

Max’s Song (Full Scene) | Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill | Stranger Things | Netflix

Best Hotel Lounge Cover By A Sex Worker In A TV Show

‘That’s Amoré’ by Mia (Beatrice Grannò) – The White Lotus: Season 2

Literally the only song ever sung on a piano in a hotel bar that didn’t suck.

Best On-The-Nose Anachronistic Pop Song In A Medieval Movie

‘Honey To The Bee’ by Misty Miller – Catherine Called Birdy

Birdy’s first acknowledgement of hot boys (in this case hot monks) is set to Miller’s cover of Billie Piper’s 00s breakthrough hit, which is both clever and funny because Piper also stars in the film as Birdy’s mum. All movies should do this, like ‘Hang Tough’ coming on at the end of The Sixth Sense when Donnie Wahlberg shows up in the bathroom.

Honey To The Bee | Catherine Called Birdy (Amazon Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

Best Song By An Imaginary Boy Band Created For An Animated Film About A Giant Red Panda

‘Nobody Like U’ by 4*Town – Turning Red

Between this and Bob’s Burgers’ Boyz 4 Now, it’s starting to feel like the best boy bands are fake animated ones.

4*TOWN (From Disney and Pixar’s Turning Red) - Nobody Like U (From "Turning Red")