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Pink’s music videos: ranked by pinkness
If not us, who? If not now, when?
Pink (or P!nk to be precise) is pop royalty. In an era of Britneys and Christinas, Alecia Beth Moore represented the underdogs, those who looked at the sparkly teen popstars and felt defeated. Pink was loud, angry, openly messy and beautifully complex, an artist who managed to achieve true pop stardom and still remain the same outspoken girl who wasn’t popular at school. It’s a legacy to be proud of. And it begs the unrelated and probably irrelevant question – just how pink are Pink’s music videos?
We’re here to give the people answers. Here are fifteen of Pink’s most popular music videos, ranked from colourless to the pinkest pink.
15. What About Us
No pink, just politics.
Rating: negative pink
14. Just Give Me A Reason
There’s plenty of atmosphere here. Pink curls up on a mattress beside a giant teddy bear with glowing eyes, bobbing on a misty sea in front of a backdrop of twinkly silver lights. Feature artist Nate Ruess sings passionately to her from a boxy TV. Eventually Pink plunges into the water, only to be retrieved by her husband, Carey Hart. The visuals are relatively restrained for a Pink video, as is the colour palette – the only pink in sight is a very pale pink bow in the pop star’s hair.
Rating: baby pink
13. Just Like A Pill
This early offering sees Pink enrolled at some kind of emo rehabilitation facility. She wonders through rooms of leather and black denim-clad teenagers making out, band t shirts rising up to reveal detailed back tattoos, and perfects her anguished hair grab. At one point she stands in a room full of white rabbits; at another she sings directly into a faceless man’s crotch. The video editor does not hold back with the PowerPoint transitions. There are a couple of hot pink streaks in Pink’s hair, however, which makes up for a lot.
Rating: blush pink
12. Raise Your Glass
You’d think a song about celebrating your unique identity would be pink galore, and it does feel as if this gold-tinged video missed the chance to go all out. Pink still gets up to plenty – she dresses up as Rosie the riveter, plays guitar at a wedding, fights a matador, wrestles a man in a top hat and drinks out of a brown paper bag by a chain link fence. The video takes a turn for surrealist arthouse horror when she unveils a human milking machine which she uses to feed a baby cow. There are hints of pink throughout but never the fuchsia we’d expect.
Rating: lemonade pink
11. Please Don’t Leave Me
Pink plays the axe-wielding girlfriend you absolutely should leave. Her love interest makes multiple attempts to escape her house of horror, thwarted at every turn by marbles, guard dogs and Pink with a golf club. Pink’s home is disappointingly beige, aside from some pink lights and one glorious portrait of herself with vibrant pink hair.
Rating: raw steak
10. Don’t Let Me Get Me
Pink dons little pink bunches as she sings gloomily to herself on a PE bench and freaks out in the changing rooms. As she grows into her pop stardom, leading us from school to industry meetings and finally the big stage, pops of pink feature throughout. The bad CGI is forgivable – this was 2002 – but the section at the end of the video in which Pink begins morphing into other people is undeniably unsettling.
Rating: salmon
9. So What
One of her best. Pink performs her heart out in this super high energy romp through a sequence of amusing visuals, from Pink driving a tractor through traffic to Pink getting her hair set on fair in a wonderfully pink dressing room. Pink spotlights shine down on her as she performs on stage, and she dons her best sparkly pink corset for the after show pillow fight. As we all do.
Rating: strawberry milk
8. Who Knew
A teen couple’s idyllic carnival date heads downhill into breakup territory, whilst Pink stands amongst a bustling crowd of people and sings a teary-eyed power ballad. She remains stationed there for almost the entirety of the video, other than a few fairly random shots of her drowning. The carnival is a fairly pink affair and Pink is sporting some fantastic hot pink curls.
Rating: candy floss
7. All I Know So Far
There’s a lot to cover here. A fuchsia-haired Pink falls out of the sky and lands on a cactus, battles a group of business giants, gets caught in a knife storm and wanders into a world dominated by floating eyeballs. Venturing further, she screams the hair off of an island of men before throwing her husband around like a sack of potatoes, sets sail on a giant pink boat named the SS F*ck You, starts a cult and shares a sweet moment with her daughter before a huge explosion melts the skin off their bones. Cher appears like a god in the sky to guide her and a house painted with the American flag burns down. It’s all very subtle.
Rating: flamingo
6. Walk Me Home
Pink dances home through dark streets in a hot pink formal dress, dancing with the shadows on the walls and roads. In the final moments, the city is bathed in pink neon light. The whole thing is beautifully done, even if a few of the shadow-dancing moments resemble an exorcism.
Rating: bubblegum
5. Try
Pink and her gymnastics partner practise their routine in an unfurnished apartment. It involves multi-coloured paint, pink smoke bombs and one of them getting thrown through a table. By the end of it all, Pink looks like she went to a paintball match in her underwear and that pink stain is never coming out of the carpet.
Rating: fandango
4. Blow Me (One Last Kiss)
The noir black and white aesthetic of ‘Blow Me (One Last Kiss)’ makes it an unexpected entry in the top five – until the moment when Pink drops a huge pink paint bomb on her ex’s wedding. She then flies away with the photographer on his winged bike and spits on the ground below, because it’s a Pink video.
Rating: French rose
3. True Love
This celebration of Pink’s marriage and motherhood is full of hot pink touches, from her daughter’s fluffy carpet to the flying rose petals. Pink flips around an arena in an arial harness and rides bikes with her husband, whilst her daughter is just interested in her stuffed animals. Lily Allen also puts in an appearance, chopping carrots beside a huge bouquet of pink roses.
Rating: fuchsia
2. Just Like Fire
An Alice In Wonderland inspired romp, ‘Just Like Fire’ opens with a pink-haired Pink hanging from the ceiling by pink silks. After following her (also pink-haired) young daughter into the looking glass, she plays a chess match with 16 copies of herself, attends a fuchsia-accented tea party and falls through a pink tree onto a bed of pink roses. The end of the video takes a sharp left turn when she finds herself in a straight jacket being wrestled through the doors of a mental hospital. Maybe turn it off before the final chorus.
Rating: cerise
1. Beautiful Trauma
We open on a bright pink house – a positive start already – in which Pink wakes up in her bright pink room with bright pink hair wearing a bright pink nightdress. Channing Tatum is asleep in the twin bed across from her, also in pink and having some visibly (*ahem*) exciting dreams. Whilst each room in Pink’s house has its own block colour, she retains her pink aesthetic throughout, and even Channing gets a little pink lipstick. Pink wears a hot pink ballgown to drink in her bathtub, and even their adult time involves some bright pink rope. ‘Beautiful Trauma’s only sin? No music video needs a minute and 16 seconds of credits. Even if it does star Channing Tatum.
Rating: magenta
