Not a fan of a fright? Snuggle up indoors this Halloween with our totally unscary (but still very festive) playlist
Halloween is traditionally a celebration of all things spooky: skeletons, spiders, ghosts, witches and whatever other decorations you can find in the supermarket. But even if you’ve never made it all the way through a horror movie and the idea of exploring a haunted house makes you want to cry, you can still get in on the fun. In the interest of leaving no man behind, here is the least scary Halloween playlist ever, so that you can celebrate in your own way this October 31st. No tricks, just treats.
I Want Candy – The Strangeloves
‘I Want Candy’ may have come to have a stronger association with Easter (we have 2011’s Hop starring Russell Brand as the Easter Bunny to thank for that) but there’s no reason it can’t be repurposed as a trick or treating anthem.
Black Magic – Little Mix
All the girls on the block want to know Little Mix’s secret, and in this track, they reveal it: witchcraft. It’s truly the catchiest tune ever written about the dark arts.
Ghost – Ella Henderson
Haunted by a past lover, Henderson lends her powerful vocals to this upbeat breakup story. Adding the Oliver Nelson remix to your Halloween party playlist will earn you bonus points.
Hell Hounds – Chloe Moriondo
Halloween is one night only, but hyper pop princess Chloe Moriondo is humiliating her exes year-round. Forgo the Conjuring marathon to practice your aggressive barking instead.
I Did Something Bad – Taylor Swift
You may not be willing to venture out of the house this Halloween, but with Reputation you can at least play the villain in the comfort of your own home. ‘I Did Something Bad’ is the Halloween anthem for those too scared to ask their landlord to please install the double glazing he promised six months ago.
Stockholm Syndrome – One Direction
Scare mazes? Absolutely not. Let One Direction guide you through a much tamer Halloween scenario. (If you’ve never heard this one and you’re wondering how they pulled it off as a convincing love song, they didn’t. But it’s a good time all the same.)
Sweet But Psycho – Ava Max
Don’t let the screams at the beginning of the track through you off – the only thing scary about this one is how catchy it is. Max describes the ultimate toxic girlfriend in an effort to warn away the men around her.
Monster – Lady Gaga
Gaga knows how to make monstrously good electropop. The lyric ‘He ate my heart’ is just gory enough to make this a convincing Halloween track, but don’t worry – you’ll be too busy dancing to notice.
Clown – Mariah Carey
The scariest thing this clown does is disrespect Mariah. This R&B track is a scathing takedown of an ex-lover whose own foolishness saw him on the outs. “I gotta break it to you delicately, dummy,” sings Mariah, in undoubtedly the song’s best line.
Alien – Britney Spears
Spears goes from feeling like a lonely, famous alien to finding her home among the stars. If aliens are a Halloween thing, and let’s say they are, then this is a solid pop offering.
Stitches – Shawn Mendes
No, Mendes isn’t going as Frankenstein’s monster for Halloween – he’s had his heart broken. Aw.
Levitating – Dua Lipa
Dua Lipa takes a classic symptom of possession and turns it into one of the best pop songs of the last few years. The link is tenuous, you say? Shut up.
Maniac – Conan Gray
Gray and his ex both seem given to a little hyperbole, calling each other all kinds of extreme names. That said, the image of Gray’s ex showing up at his home “all alone with a shovel and a rose” is decidedly eerie.
Scream – Zac Efron and the cast of High School Musical 3
Is there anything truly as terrifying as having to pick between two college basketball scholarships?