Interview
Interview
NOAHFINNCE: “I’ve accepted that I am who I am”
NOAHFINNCE discusses the inspiration behind his debut album Growing Up On The Internet and knocking down the barrier between artists and fans
When NOAHFINNCE first started a YouTube channel as a teenager, he had no idea of the impact it would have on his life.
Posting covers of his favourite artists whilst documenting his journey of coming out as trans and beginning his transition, by the age of 15 he had accumulated over 100,000 subscribers. With thousands of people across the world drawn to videos portraying his most authentic self, Noah found himself with an audience far bigger than he ever anticipated. Allowing him to forge a community of like-minded individuals, there’s been no end to the positive impact the internet has had on Noah’s life, but it’s also undoubtedly brought its fair share of complications.
With transphobes in his DMs daily and fans constantly overstepping boundaries, NOAHFINNCE’s debut album Growing Up On The Internet explores the realities of spending your formative years in a virtual spotlight. With 11 high energy pop-punk tracks filled with reflection, frustration, and chaos; the London-based artist has turned the heads of everyone from UK alt-rock arena-fillers Enter Shikari to Busted’s Matt Willis, spending the last two years sharing stages with his childhood heroes.
Fresh out of the studio after tracking four new songs, NOAHFINNCE’s next chapter is already on its way. Kicking off with his biggest headline shows to date this November, we spoke to the 25-year-old about the story of his debut, navigating his growing platform, and creating a live show where everyone is welcome.
Your debut album Growing Up On The Internet explores the impact that documenting so much of your life online has had on you over the years. As someone who has had such a strong internet presence since you were a teenager, when did you start realising that it wasn’t an entirely normal existence?
We started writing the album in early 2023, but I think I started getting an inkling that things weren’t right back in 2022. That was the first time I went on a US tour, and in Texas a kid showed up and was like, ‘I can’t believe we’ve never met. I feel like I know you because I’ve been watching your videos every single week for five years… We grew up together’. Meeting people a continent away from home, there’s no reason why we should know each other. That got me thinking about the idea, and it ended up turning into this realisation that my life has been far from normal.
I grew up as a girl in school and a boy online, and when I came out, those two worlds came together. My family started following me online, and people I had looked up to since I was a kid started following me too. There were so many people looking at me. I struggled with that idea a lot throughout 2022 and 2023, and I’m still weirded out by it. Maybe I should have realised how strange it all was before, but I didn’t really get out of the house and meet people before 2022! I began realising that I got all my validation from strangers on the internet, and that’s got to do something to a person.
When you think about it, humans aren’t equipped to have access to the lives of thousands of people they’ll never meet…
It’s not good! I don’t think we’re able to process that amount of information. It’s one thing growing up in a local community and knowing everybody that you meet in town, but it’s another thing when you can put up a picture and people in countries that you have never even heard of perceive you.
It’s especially complicated when you have some form of platform too, because you’re faced with the pressure of separating your real self from the persona that people online perceive you to have…
I also realised that I was autistic during this process, so that was another bomb to throw in the works. Because of that though, I treat everybody the same. I treat everybody like my friends, and I’ve not been very good at masking. I’ve always been weird, but people just think of it as that being who I am. That’s fine, and when it comes to the internet, that was great. I could be as weird as I wanted, and whatever algorithm was working at the time would bring people that were also like that to me. I didn’t struggle so much with it in the beginning, because I could finally be who I wanted to be without worrying about what people at school would think about me.
The more of an audience you get, the harder it becomes though. You’re getting constant feedback, and that sparks this paranoia of, ‘Who am I?’. As I’ve gotten older, it’s become slightly easier because now I have a team around me. Having people within the industry to talk to about these things is very helpful, but it’s hard to figure it out sometimes. I’ve gotten a lot more chill about it, and it’s easier to get more of a balance.
Speaking about figuring out your identity, your recent autism diagnosis has played a part in that too. There are songs on the record that talk about your neurodivergence… Is it important for you to encourage other neurodiverse people to be okay with embracing that part of themselves?
Definitely. I’m still young, but even when I was growing up in school, it was completely different. Kids growing up now are more aware of what being neurodivergent is, but I just thought I was weird. I have younger kids within my fanbase that feel similar to me from an LGBT perspective, but they also just feel a little freaky. I didn’t really have role models growing up that spoke about having ADHD and autism, even though I’m sure that most people I looked up to did have some form of that. It just wasn’t as spoken about.
In terms of being trans, I often felt like I was crazy, or there was just something inherently wrong with me. I thought that there was nobody else out there who felt like me until I went on the internet and saw other people like that. I understand how important that was for me, so if I’m able to do that for other people, that’s great. I love meeting kids at shows, but I also love meeting their parents. They’ll say things like, ‘I’m so glad you spoke about this topic in a video. I ended up watching it, and now my kid is exploring the idea that they may be autistic’. It helps with accommodations and self-acceptance, because when I first started considering that I might be autistic, there was so much shame about it. Now, I can go onstage and tell people that I’ve been diagnosed with autism, and thousands of people cheer. That’s such a nice feeling, because it flips the idea of it being shameful and embarrassing. I shut myself off from talking about it for so long because of the stigma around it, but now I’m happy to talk about it.
There are also songs on the record that discuss being trans, which is an important part of your life, but the industry can often try to put LGBTQ+ artists into a box. How has it been to navigate being a trans musician whilst showing people that it’s only one part of who you are and what your music represents?
There are so many people that love to be weird about it, but I’ve been very lucky because my manager knows those people and helps me to avoid them. It’s been a difficult thing to navigate because when I first got signed, I was like, ‘Yes, I’m trans, but I don’t want that to be the selling point’. I make YouTube videos with titles like ‘Trans guy reacting to transphobia’, but that doesn’t represent me as a person, that’s just a video I’m making. When it comes to music, the songs I’m making represent how I feel and who I am. Because of that, I wanted to completely avoid the subject of being trans. I didn’t want to talk about it in interviews because I was so scared of it becoming a thing.
A couple of years ago though, the level of transphobia was getting insane, especially during COVID. I had refused to write songs about being trans because I didn’t feel like I had anything else to explore there, but then JK Rowling started speaking out. I ended up having to write about it, because it was just how I was feeling. Surprisingly though, I’ve only had a couple of weird moments with people in the industry so far. I had one interviewer ask if I thought that JK Rowling had a point, which was probably the lowest point.
It helps when you’re able to find a community who see you for who you are. Do you think that having the relationship you do with those who listen to your music has made it easier to blur the line between you as an artist and them as fans?
It’s funny, because I think about this all the time. I grew up obsessed with music and musicians. I had a My Chemical Romance fan account, and Frank Iero was the love of my life. I grew up with these parasocial relationships, and I’m not trying to encourage them, but the internet was the only space where I could speak about my feelings growing up. Now, these people have such intimate details about my life. It’s weird because they don’t know me, but they do know more about me than some people in my real life do. I don’t think I’m ever going to find it normal.
Having had a couple of years to work on your live show now, how important has it become to make sure you’re creating a positive vibe in that environment too? Particularly knowing the kind of escape shows used to give you growing up?
When I first got signed, it was during COVID. That worked out for me, because it gave me an excuse to not have to do a live show! I was so terrified because I’d never played a show before. Once things opened back up, I kept putting it off, but I’ve done a complete 180 since then. Now, playing shows is my favourite thing to do ever. Growing up, shows were the only in-person spaces where I could make friends that I could be completely open with. I could meet people who felt the same way that I did, not just about bands, but about stuff they were going through in their lives. That was something that I needed back then, and the fact that I can create that space for other people is crazy to me.
We’ve done three US tours, and we’ve been back every single year. There was this group of kids who met in the queue at my first North Carolina show. They came back the next year and were still friends, and then the next year, two of them were engaged. That’s the most important part of the shows for me, establishing that connection with the audience. It’s less about me looking cool on stage, which is something I always worried about before I started playing. I used to think about how cool I’d look, or whether I’d be weird, but now I just hope everybody has fun. I’ve accepted that I am who I am, and the shows are going to be the way that they are. It’s all about having fun and making friends.
The scope of your live shows has grown hugely over the last year. You recently played YUNGBLUD’s inaugural BLUDFEST, and Matt Willis was standing side stage during your Download Festival set. What’s it like to see people you grew up listening to and looking up to taking notice of you and your music?
It’s silly that we’ve played Wembley, and that doesn’t make sense to me. Not only have Busted asked me to support them at a couple of shows, but Matt came to see my set. Even if someone dragged him there, the fact that he said yes is incredible! In general, though, I do not like being perceived. When it comes to strangers perceiving me, that’s one thing, but it’s something else when it’s people I’ve looked up to my entire life. They should not know that I’m a real person, and it freaks me out! I’m constantly overwhelmed, and I would be regardless of what I was doing in my life, because that’s just my constant state of being. I assume that everything I do is cringe, but there’s a section of the population who like that kind of cringe. If Matt Willis is one of those people, I’m not going to be mad about it.
Having been able to play bigger stages over the last year, when it came to sorting venues for the November headline tour… Were you surprised by how quickly the size of the shows had grown?
I operate on a basis of expecting the worst, and being happy when things go well. When I booked my first show, I was terrified that nobody would show up and we’d have to cancel it. My first full tour felt the same, and on the US tour I was having breakdowns. I thought I was going to lose all my money flying to America and no one would show up. I spend so much time being anxious about people not wanting to show up, that by the time they do show up, I’m already in play mode. There’s never really time for it to sink in. Being able to play the Electric Ballroom is crazy though, because when I played Islington Academy I thought, ‘If I peak here, that’s fine’. Now I’m at a point where I’m wondering when it’s going to stop growing! London shows are always hectic and stressful, but it’s where all my friends and family show up.
Knowing the albums that helped you be more yourself, and the ones that allowed you to just forget about life for a moment, what does it mean to know that people have been able to find some sense of purpose in Growing Up On The Internet?
It feels great, but I never intended for it to be the case. Some artists go into writing sessions like, ‘We should talk about mental health because kids love talking about mental health’, but that’s not how I operate. I write stuff that works for me and makes me feel better, and the fact that people can feel that way about my music is insane. I grew up obsessed with My Chemical Romance, but their music is not specifically about how they feel, it’s much more artistic. For me though, I say how I feel in my music. I think a lot of people need to hear that, and I needed that when I was younger. When people tell me that my music has helped them, I still don’t know how to respond to it, but it’s special.
