Comedy
A-Z
The A-Z of Dr. John Cooper Clarke
Brush up on the alphabetical life and times of The Poet Laureate Of Punk ahead of his landmark 2025 tour
A is for Arena
When he headlines Manchester’s Co-Op Live Arena in March 2025, Clarke will become the first ever poet to headline a UK arena. It’s a suitable accolade to hold for a poet unlike any other, before or since.
B is for Baudelaire
Clarke is a huge fan of classic literature and poetry, and Charles Baudelaire is his favourite. In fact, he credits the 19th century poet for bringing him together with his French wife. “I had this translation of Les Fleurs Du Mal. I love Charles Baudelaire. Him and Shakespeare are the only people I think are better than me. I swear to Christ, I think I’m better than every f*cker. When I finally met the wife, languages were her thing. So I said, ‘Is that a good translation?’ And she said, ‘I couldn’t imagine a better translation.’”
C is for Chickentown (Evidently)
One of JCC’s most famous poems is ‘Evidently Chickentown,’ an expletive-filled tirade that conjures up images of a dystopianly bleak British town. Its recorded version appears in a number of films and TV series, most famously and powerfully in one of The Sopranos’ best moments.
D is for Doctorate
That’s Dr. John Cooper Clarke to you – he was awarded an honorary doctorate of arts from the University of Salford in 2013.
E is for English teacher
Clarke credits his secondary school English teacher, John Malone, for inspiring his love of poetry. “He was a really inspiring teacher. He used to read old 19th century stuff and say ‘Just do it like that but only write about what you know’, which is pretty good advice for anybody,” he told the Salford Star.
F is for F*ck
Dr. John Cooper Clarke knows how to make a swear word sing – just check out a live performance of ‘Evidently Chickentown’ (he cleans it up for the recorded version). “My swear box doubles as a high yield pension scheme,” he once joked.
G is for Gigs
While he’s got seven albums of recorded poetry under his belt, his live performances are where he’s most electric. He’s been performing since the ‘70s, and at 75 he’s showing no signs of slowing down.
H is for Hair
JCC is not just good with words, of course – he’s also proud possessor of one of the UK’s most recognisable barnets.
I is for the Invisible Girls
That was the name of Clarke’s backing band, who played on three of his albums between 1978 and 1982. They featured Joy Division producer Martin Hannett and the Buzzcocks’ Pete Shelley, among other stalwarts of the Manchester music scene.
J is for Joy Division
Speaking of which, Clarke once appeared, reading from ‘Evidently Chickentown’, before one of the Manchester legends’ rare TV appearances on the BBC:
K is for ‘Kung Fu International’
One of his earliest and funniest poems is about being on the losing end of a kung-fu attack outside a takeaway. Happens to the best of us.
L is for Would I Lie To You
JCC has been a guest on a couple of episodes of this panel show, where he’s always an absolute delight. This is how we know that he once shared a flat with a monkey for three months.
M is for Maison de Fromage
Clarke’s first album was titled Où Est La Maison De Fromage?, which of course is French for Where Is The Cheese House? Although he’s not a fan of the album anymore, a few poems from here still appear in his live sets, including ‘(I Married A) Monster From Outer Space’.
N is for Nico
For a while, Clarke platonically shared a flat with the iconic German singer-songwriter in Brixton, having met her while she was living in Manchester and sharing a manager with him in Alan Wise. We’re betting lots of good, clean fun was had in that flat.
O is for Ten Years In An Open Necked Shirt
This is the name of a 1984 documentary about the bard, with the title taken from a three-part poem from his debut album. Featuring live performances, interviews, and insight into his Salford childhood, it’s essential viewing for any fan.
P is for Punk Poet
That’s the epithet by which JCC is most commonly known – the first Punk Poet. Fittingly, he appeared as an opening act for the likes of the Sex Pistols, The Fall, Elvis Costello and more; and in the decades since, he’s inspired a whole league of aspiring punk poets too, essentially creating a thriving subgenre.
Q is for Q Poet Laureate
Clarke was named Q Magazine’s first poet laureate in 2013. “All I can say as a newly ordained doctor is keep taking the tablets,” he said in his acceptance speech.
R is for Celebrity Antiques Road Trip
Clarke and comedian Phill Jupitus appeared on Series 9 of the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip, looking for treasure in East Anglia. The more you know!
S is for Salford
Clarke was brought up in the Higher Broughton area of Salford, and his upbringing and young adulthood there form a significant influence on his poems. They don’t call him the Bard of Salford for nothing, after all – and last year, he was even awarded the freedom of Salford by the council.
T is for Tony Wilson
Clarke was close with the late Factory Records founder, a fellow Salfordian. Wilson was a huge champion of Clarke early on in Clarke’s career, interviewing him for his music show So It Goes in 1977, while Clarke was still working a day-job in the tool room at Salford Tech.
U is for Haiku
Clarke has tried his hand at a series of haikus, including the immortal one: “To freeze the moment / In seventeen syllables / Is very diffic”.
V is for Vacuum cleaner
“I wanna be your vacuum cleaner,” is how Clarke begins his most iconic poem, “I Wanna Be Yours”, which was first released on his 1982 album Zip Style Method. It became a staple at weddings, was included on the GCSE English syllabus, and became an even bigger hit when the Arctic Monkeys adapted it for their fifth album AM in 2013 — with the Monkeys’ version currently boasting 2 billion Spotify streams.
W is for World Poetry Day
World Poetry Day is on 21 March, and Clarke will be performing a set of London, Nottingham and Manchester live dates in celebration of it. What better way to celebrate?
X is for Essex
While he’ll always be one of the most iconic Salfordians, Clarke has actually lived in Essex since the mid-80s. ““I love it – I love the people, I love the countryside and the seaside’s close by,” he’s said about his adopted home county – but we doubt he’ll be losing that Manc accent any time soon.
Y is for rhyme
It’s that point in the alphabet where we start choosing some marginal ones… But John Cooper Clarke is the master of the simple but effective rhyme. Refer to his poem “Tw*t” for some of the best examples: “What kind of creature bore you? / Was it some kind of bat? / They can’t find a good word for you / But I can: Tw*t”.
Z is for Zip Style Method
This was Clarke’s sixth album, released in 1982. It features ‘I Wanna Be Yours’, as well as poems with names like ‘I Travel In Biscuits’, ‘A Heart Disease Called Love’ and ‘The Day My Pad Went Mad’.
