Seven shows for people who think they hate shows

We get it – theatre, in its commonly understood form, is not for everyone. Some of us can’t stomach the idea of an evening watching insufferable performing types dandying their way through a poker-faced Russian satire, or gleefully over stretching their five-part harmony chorus parts, complete with synchronised jazz hands. It smacks of over keenness that takes many of us back to the drama classroom where we passed the lesson reeling in the corner-of-the-socially-in-pain-who-instinctively-are-suspicous-of-thesps.

Thing is, that’s a bit like saying all moving pictures are Carry On films, and that sounds ridiculous when you think of how much we love Breaking Bad, Evil Dead, Star Wars, Casablanca and Flight Of The Conchords… you get the picture (lol). It’s not that your worst fears don’t exist; it’s just that they’re not as all-encompassing of the theatre world as you might think.

So we are tackling the beast of rejection on theatre’s behalf, and setting out productions we’ve seen that definitely buck all the stereotypes plastered on to the stage by haters; Here is our list of shows, for people who think they hate shows.

Let The Right One In
The film of the same name was harrowing, the Hollywood remake (Let Me In) was bloody, and the stage show, directed by Tony and Olivier Award-winning John Tiffany, delivers on both counts. It’s a dark story of desperation, loneliness, love and… vampires. Also, if you book now there are discounts on key tickets.

Once, The Musical.
If you’re a music and/or film buff, you’ll have likely come across the break out indie film hit Once. The beautifully crafted music seamlessly tells the story of two people falling in love and has brought a whole new approach to scoring music for film. Transferring Once to the stage is a no brainer, and because of the way it was written, it’s less singing dialogue you’d usually see in a musical, and more singing subtext making it heart breaking to watch. Here the drama appears as narrative to your favourite record, plus it’s all played live and exposed on the stage. It’s also pretty funny too and currently starring Arthur Darvill who was in Dr Who (yes, he can sing AND play guitar!)

The Book Of Mormon
The Book Of Mormon is brought to you by the makers of South Park so you can expect songs about rape, female circumcision and Ugandan warlords for starters. Rather than worrying about being PC, these songs are both acceptable and laugh out loud funny, especially when they’re sung by actual people (rather than cartoons). Jesus, Hitler and Darth Vader all make an appearance too. What else do you need to know? It’s been tough to get tickets in the past, but they’ve announced more are on sale with good availability from June.

I Can’t Sing! The X Factor Musical
It’s the X Factor Musical – now, on the face of it, this could be imagined as a fresh new hell. But then it’s a Harry Hill show, his first ever musical and he sticks true to form sending up the X Factor phenomenon at every opportunity and pointing right at its ludicracy. A million percent yes, pet.

Fatal Attraction
From ludicracy to lunacy, Fatal Attraction adapts the film so you can get up close and personal with the intense and out of control affair between Alex and Dan. Sleekly designed, this blood-pumping thriller of obsession and revenge is a modern play that’s not to be missed. Also, it coined the term ‘bunny – boiler’, which, let’s face it, is pretty cool. With Natascha McElhone as the urban fox Alex and Kristin Davis as the compromising wife Beth, the play is also a bit of a starry occasion.

Ghost Stories
Firstly, this is considered unsuitable for anyone under the age of 15, allegedly . Secondly, when you learn that it’s written by king of the macabre Jeremy Dyson (from League of Gentlemen) you ought to be pretty much sold. What’s more, we’re currently running an offer for group tickets of 6 people or more! Find out more here.

It’s a musical tackling the tyranny of public urination, which let’s face it is a plague across all our cities after 11pm. It’s rude, it’s witty and it’s gathered something of a cultish following. Floating ever-so-slightly under the radar, it’s best to see this show before it becomes, ya know, mainstream (pun intended).